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From: pHant <[email protected]>
Newsgroups: alt.hackers.malicious
Subject: Sn1ffed Chat Log 17
Followup-To: alt.hackers.malicious,alt.jedi-of-ro0t
Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 15:29:39 +1000
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COAST GUARD: Whoa, steady there, big fella. You sure you're gonna be
alright now?

M: <shakes off water like 500 lb. Rottweiler after bath> Yeah. I'm
alright. Thanks, guys.

CG #1: Well, stay warm. And be careful, man.

<walking away> Holy shit,
man! We used up the whole month's budget worth of wire pulling him out
with the crane!

CG #2: Thirty years in the Guard, boys. I'll swear, by the shape and
size, I thought it was the largest hammerhead shark I ever seen in
these parts. CanNOT believe 'twas a human.

CG: #1: I ain't so sure about it myself. His body surface temperature
was only 94.0 degrees. Reptilian. Never did warm up.

M: <sobbing> I feel weird. I'm not like other people. Never have been
and unless I get some help NOW, I never will be. Boo-hoo-hoo. Who can
I call? It's too early for my fanboi Kevvie to be at work. No one
understands me .
..........waaaaah ......... HOLD THE PHONE!

<smiles> Where's Diaper Boy? I pick
at him, but he knows it's just usenet. And he does seem to notice what
other people miss.............Hello? Hello? I need to speak with Diap-

H: Mad Hatter's office. You have been trolled - what's yer problem?

M: Matthew, is that you? It's me, Ossif--Martin Hannigan!

H: SpNak!

M: No, be serious a minute, Hatter. I need your help. Please!

H: What do you want, Marty? You're a fat, stupid, prevaricating
coward. Does that make you feel better?

M: No <sobs> I need to know <wheeze> why I'm the way I am!

H: Are you sure you want me to tell you the truth, Marty? Most people
run from the truth. They know instinctively it will shatter their hold
on reality.

M: I NEED A FUCKING SHATTER, HATTER!

H: One of the main problems you have is evolutional. You're very
limbic.

M: Whassat mean, Hatter?

H: It means yer a fucking reptile, Marty. Cold-blooded. Driven only to
eat, fuck and fight. No abstract thought processes. No empathy or
understanding of human feelings.

M: WHAT? You're saying I'm a SNAKE?

H: 'Fraid so - but you've always sensed that, haven't you, Marty? Your
entire life revolves around what you eat, what you fuck and what you
fight. Or - in your case - what you eat and what you TRY to fuck and
TRY to fight. Those three base impulses rule everything you do. Your
failure to succeed with the last two force you to compensate with
over-indulging the first.

M: Oh my God! How fucking depressing can it get?

H: Oh, infinitely more depressing, Marty. Would you like to talk about
your spanking fetish?

M: <whispers> No.

H: How about that spanking fetish and all your posts about women being
ass-raped?

M: <whispers> Oh, God, no.

H: Starting to see a pattern, are we? Well, factor this in with the
other two - fantasies about piercing and shaving unwilling partners.
Young women who you need to physically overpower..........and spank,
spank, spank. What does that say about you, Marty?

M: Too much! Catch you later, Hatter! Bye!

<throws phone> Shit! He's worse than the dude in "Hannibal"! I'm done
fucking with him! THAT was some scary shit .........hello? Operator?
HATTER?!! Leave me alone! Please!

H: Tell me about your mother.

M: No! NO! GO AWAY! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE, MAD HATTER!!


--

pH1